There are no perfect people nor perfect relationships. It makes it romantic for many—two people with different perspectives meeting halfway to make things work. However, even in the most perfect of relationships, conflicts are bound to arise.
There are disagreements in all relationships. However, learning how to handle it is what matters most. You and your partner are both responsible for achieving a healthy relationship by learning how to deal with any issues that come to you. But, what are the best ways to handle conflicts in relationships?
Well, here are seven tips you can use when dealing with relationship conflicts
Encourage open communication
Be willing to communicate. You cannot resolve anything if you do not talk about it. It is the key to any healthy relationship. Both parties must be willing and open to talking about their issues. It means not shutting down when the topic arises, not brushing it off, or running away from it.
In a good relationship, you and your spouse can openly discuss anything that is troubling you or what’s going on in the relationship. It’s critical not to imply that everyone is making all of the errors.
Consider how you would feel if you were unable to discuss important topics, such as your life circumstances, finances, goals, and anything big picture that terrifies or concerns you. It’s an indication your relationship is unhealthy if you’re finding it difficult to talk about serious issues such as life problems. If you can’t express your feelings without worrying about your partner retaliating or becoming excessively enraged and defensive, you may be in an abusive relationship.
Get to the root of the problem
To get to the bottom of a conflict, you have to listen and understand what your partner says. Never defend yourself if you are wrong. Just listen and ask questions.
When you and your partner disagree, it’s usually because someone else’s conditions have not been satisfied. Consider whether there is a bigger issue on the horizon if it appears as though your spouse is fussing over little things.
If your spouse is concerned that you are partying on weeknights, they may request that you set aside more time for your relationship or be concerned about you maintaining up with your studies. Consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Consider things from your spouse’s perspective—how would you feel if the situation were reversed? Instead of arguing your point, be sympathetic to your partner.
Remain calm and respectful even during a heated conversation
Crises happen, but people can control how they speak during these moments. People get upset when something doesn’t go their way or someone does something that bothers them. Anger is normal in a relationship, but how you express it will determine your conflict resolution.
Look at the issue, without bias or judgment, with patience and understanding. If you’re discussing something important to one of you, try to hear what they say without taking it too personally. Avoid using phrases like “You never” or “You always” because it will make it seem like everything is black and white.
Always find a middle-ground
Be willing to compromise with your partner. It means accepting that you cannot always get what you want, especially if it compromises something important to your spouse or goes against the terms of the relationship. You must be willing to make sacrifices for one another.
Explore different methods to resolve the issue. Get creative or seek outside help. For example, if you both want to spend time together but can’t because of your work schedules, ask one of your family members to babysit so that you can spend some time together later in the evening. If you are saving for a house and the other is saving for a wedding, perhaps you can switch gears and save together for both.
Keep an eye on arguments that roots from a need for control
Any type of controlling behavior is not healthy in a relationship.
If you feel like your spouse is trying to control you or tell you what to do, it’s time to address the issue with them. Uncomfortable situations that leave you feeling powerless and insignificant, such as being criticized in front of others or having all critical conversations in front of the children, are unhealthy.
If your partner is trying to control you with words, try saying something like “I am an adult and you need to treat me like one” or “Do you realize that I’m more than capable of handling this on my own?” If they continue to act controlling, it may be best for you to part ways to protect your well-being.
Consider if a problem is resolvable or not
Whenever there is an issue, it’s important to look at both sides of the story before coming up with a solution.
If one partner has been unfaithful, do not immediately assume they are a horrible person. Before you rush to judgment, consider how factors such as stress from work or problems in the relationship may have played a role in their decision.
Don’t immediately jump on one side of an argument without looking at both sides of the story before coming up with a solution. Keep your eyes on finding a good middle ground that will make both of you happy.
Agree to disagree and choose your conflicts
Some things are worth fighting for, while others can be easily let go of. You should never feel like you have to put up with something hurting your relationship or compromising your happiness.
Some issues aren’t worth fighting over because you will never agree. If the topic doesn’t matter much to either of you, it’s probably best not to fight about it at all.
If one partner is willing to make sacrifices and work through the problems, the other will not consider taking a step back from the relationship to let your partner figure out their needs on their own before coming back when they are ready.